


Hungry hearts

by OtterAndTerrier



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Banter, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Food, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Halloween, Mission Fic, Pre-Relationship, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, but might use material from EU/Disney (no angst just missions food planets etc!!), sharing meals, this will span all three OT movies and go beyond into my own post-RotJ verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-08-06 15:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16389917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtterAndTerrier/pseuds/OtterAndTerrier
Summary: A series of vignettes about Han and Leia sharing food through the years.





	1. I. Caf and carbo-protein biscuits

**Author's Note:**

> _Everybody needs a place to rest_  
>  _Everybody wants to have a home_  
>  _Don't make no difference what nobody says_  
>  _Ain't nobody like to be alone_  
>  ~ Hungry heart, Bruce Springsteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Han is sure.

Finally free from Imperial persecution, the  _ Millennium Falcon _ sped along the hyperspace lane and Han got up from his pilot’s seat. He gave Luke two hard pats on the shoulder before exiting the cockpit. Kid was too innocent for his own good, which made him a perfect target for Han’s teasing.

_ Don’t worry, Luke, not interested in your rebel princess _ .

Her Highness didn’t seem the kind to be easily impressed, anyway; the young farmboy would have a hell of a hard time even without Han. Or maybe Luke’s idealism and foolish courage would make Princess Leia fall for him. That was what the rebels valued most, after all.

Ah, well. It was none of Han’s business.

They had three hours until arriving into the system the princess had indicated. Yavin. Han had never heard of it before.

He found Chewie fixing a panel that had short-circuited and caused a small fire during their skirmish with the TIE fighters.

‘I’m thinkin’ we should add this to the rebels’ tab,’ Han muttered to his co-pilot.

Chewie growled in exasperation.

‘What? Yeah, it needed replacing, but it was workin’ just fine until we pulled this little stunt!’

‘ _ [It’s the third time it caught fire!] _ ’ Chewie said. 

Han waved a hand and started to walk away.

‘ _ [Why don’t you offer your new friends some food?] _ ’

‘What am I, a pleasure cruiser?’ Han asked over his shoulder, not bothering to add that that was exactly what he’d intended to do.  _ And _ he hadn’t even thought to add that to the bill.

He grabbed three cups of instant self-heating caf, which he activated, and a bag of carbo-protein biscuits from one of his foodstuff storage crates and headed back into the main hold. He found Luke wandering, looking around the ship with interest (as if he hadn’t insulted her earlier that day). Passing him one of the caf containers and a couple of the biscuits, Han casually showed him the way to the crew quarters, in case he needed a bunk or the ‘fresher.

The princess was sitting on the accelerator couch, her elbows resting on the Dejarik table. Her shoulders were practically slumping as she stared blankly into the distance.

‘Hey,’ Han called. ‘Here.’

Leia snapped out of it at once, straightening as she accepted Han’s offer. Feeling the cup’s warmth, she peeled off the lid and took a sip. Her dainty face scrunched up.

‘You call this  _ caf _ ?’

Han huffed. ‘You know what, Your Worship? You ain’t got much manners, for a princess!’

Her jaw tightened as she prepared to give a scathing reply, Han was sure of it. Seemingly changing her mind at the last moment, she looked away instead, closing her eyes for a second. Her round, brown eyes were shiny, but not a tear escaped them.

‘I apologize,’ she said in a tight voice after a moment, still avoiding Han’s glare. ‘Thank you for the refreshments, Captain.’

Han nodded curtly and was about to get out of her way when she added, ‘And for getting us out of there safely.’

‘No problem.’

Opening his own caf, he sat down at the technical station and began to pull up data for the Yavin system.

‘You won’t find anything there,’ the princess called behind him.

He turned around on his seat. She was biting into one of the biscuits with gusto. They were typical space travel rations; these ones were not bad, but nothing special, either. She was probably starving. Han had no idea how long she had been kept as a prisoner.

‘And why’s that?’

‘Because I deleted any record of Yavin from official databases myself.’

‘Wipin’ off planetary records?’ Han asked, eyebrows raised. ‘That sounds like the Empire’s kinda move.’

‘It is.’ Leia sighed. Han couldn’t pin down her age: her commanding attitude made her seem mature and experienced enough that she could have fooled anyone into thinking she was in her late twenties, but her face when she quieted down told Han she was probably as young as Luke. Right now, though, she looked weary beyond her years. ‘You don’t win a war by playing nice, you know.’

‘Right.’

It was easy to forget that she’d lost so much—heaps more than Luke had—at one fell swoop, with the way she carried herself. The way he’d found her sitting alone just now had been as close to grieving as Han had seen her so far.

_ They’re just kids _ , Han thought,  _ risking and losing so much for the sake of a hopeless cause. _

The princess there had gambled her entire planet for the rebellion. Han doubted her royal subjects had agreed to run that risk. Still...

‘Sorry ‘bout your loss,’ he said gruffly, standing up.

A few beats passed before Leia whispered, ‘Thank you.’

‘You hurt?’ he asked suddenly, as he wondered what Vader’s officers had done to her (maybe Vader himself? No, she’d be dead). Had they bothered with torture before they blew up her world? She didn’t look like she’d been tortured, but she didn’t look a lot of things. ‘You can use the medbunk if you need it, it’s in the crew cabin. Free of charge.’

Leia raised an unimpressed eyebrow. ‘How very generous of you. I think I’m fine now.’

‘Don’t take what I said earlier personally,’ Han added, unable to help himself. ‘This thing… good luck with it. It’s just not who I am.’

The princess stared at him over the rim of her cup as he turned his back to her and started walking to the cockpit.

‘And are you sure you’re the person you claim to be?’ he heard her say.

‘Yup!’ he said without looking back. 

He was Han Solo, and he never looked back.


	2. II. Pickled coodler-roe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Han and Leia play a little game of chicken.

The white styrofoam container hit the table with a clatter that made Han Solo interrupt his usual stream of complaints over and about the Alliance’s mess hall food (and jump a little on his seat).

After a friendly nod to Chewbacca, Leia brought her hands to her waist and lifted her chin a little as she looked down at Han. The pilot, however, upon seeing it was her, quickly switched his confused expression to what he thought was a flirtatious smirk.

‘Hey there, Princess. Welcome back. Missed me?’

‘Just about as much as I missed the mosquitos,’ she shot back, but Han wasn’t put off.

‘Really? ‘Cos it looks like you hopped down from your ship and came straight to see me.’

‘Oh, that I did,’ Leia said sweetly. ‘Do you remember telling me, before I left, that it was unfair I got to fly off this rock and eat some fancy food, and you wished  _ you _ were paid to do that?’

Han nodded and opened his arms as he gave her a lazy shrug.

‘Just sayin’ you could bring some of that fancy food back for the rest of us. Your rebellion ain’t gonna survive much longer if you keep feedin’ us this crap.’

Leia’s face lit up with a smile.

‘I am so glad to hear you say that! You see, I did bring you something.’

She patted the container. Han gave it a curious look and then lifted his eyes back at Leia, his smile flickering as he sensed something was up.

‘What’s this?’

With a tilt of her head, Leia indicated for him to open it and waited until he did so. A frown appeared on Han’s face as he looked down at the contents. Small chunks of a mud-brown meat covered in what looked like tiny hairs floated in an equally unappetizing liquid.

‘This is pickled coodler-roe,’ Leia explained. ‘It’s a delicacy on Goliath Mal and I was honored by sharing this dish with my hosts.’

Leia extended both her hands with her palms up and gestured at the container.

‘I saved a portion just for you. I didn’t care much for it but luckily for you, you said you found  _ anything  _ tastier than the Alliance’s food, right?’ she asked candidly.

Han had given up all pretense of being entertained by the situation, not even his famous Sabacc face holding up as he examined up close the coodler-roe—a blobby swamp creature of its native planet, she had been told. He tried to regain his footing now, letting out a chuckle and giving her a lopsided-smile.

‘That’s okay, Your Worship, no hard feelings. I know the rebellion’s just doing their best and you work  _ so _ hard. Who am I, a low-life smuggler, to question it?’

After a moment of contemplating him silently, her left eyebrow arching higher and higher with every word, Leia said, ‘Wow, that must have been really hard for you to say out loud. Still, this is high on protein, calories and several vitamins. I’m considering negotiating another deal with the Goliath Mal government to procure shipments of pickled coodler-roe. I think it would really spruce up our meals on base, don’t you think?’ Bracing her arms on the table and leaning forward until her head was level with Han’s, she added, ‘That’s why I need you to try it.’

Leia pushed the container to him.

‘I think we’re just fine here, Princess, we’re privileged, really—’

Her face hardened. ‘Eat. It. Now.’

It had taken all her fortitude to bear looking at the food again without retching. She was trained to try any dishes offered to her as an act of diplomacy, no matter how much she hated them, and she had to do so without betraying her true feelings. She’d barely managed it this time, as she’d chewed on what felt like hairy tongues whose flavor could not be disguised by the spices sprinkled on top.

Han’s jaw tightened as he stared at the food: she could almost see his pride fighting with his revulsion as he tried to find a graceful way out of her challenge. Chewie, who had watched the whole exchange with curiosity, growled softly at Han now, his arms crossed over his chest. Leia thought the Wookie looked smug; she confirmed it when he closed his eyes slowly at her in what she thought passed for a wink.

‘All right, all right!’ Han snapped. Straightening his spine, he picked up a piece of coodler-roe and brought it to his mouth. His eyes shut tightly as he chewed and swallowed. When he opened them with a gasp, Leia knew he had also been holding his breath.

Chewie passed him a glass of water and he gulped it down.

‘Tell you what, Your Highness,’ he said in a choked voice after a moment, ‘I don’t think this is all that good for morale.’

Leia bowed her head slightly, hiding a small victorious smile.

‘Noted. Feel free to accompany me in any future diplomatic missions, Captain Solo,’ she said in a sing-song voice, before turning around and bouncing out of the mess hall.


	3. III. Skewered mandlertok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Leia is oblivious and/or lying to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I needed a setting for this fic, I decided to continue, in a way, the story that **organanation** started for the 2017 Rogue Robin challenge: [Mountain Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10143239). She wrote the first chapter and I contributed with a [second](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636416) and [third](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10959300). Today’s fic picks up after the last one, but it’s told in a different format. While this installment references the previous ones, you don’t have to read them to get this - just know that Leia is an extremely unreliable narrator when it comes to Han.

/start log

Commander Leia Organa’s Log for Mission 150918

Day 2, 2053 hours

It has been an eventful day. After taking turns through the night (no incidents of mention), the team broke camp at 0712 and we resumed our trek through the Palooni mountains. Captain Solo disrupted the party by continuously and extensively questioning my leadership. I ignored him and dedicated to my task of charting our path. 

We had a slight mishap as we encountered a hidden gully into the mountain that was not indicated in our maps. My position at the vanguard of the group resulted in only myself falling down it. Nothing of concern but some bruising, scraping and a twisted ankle. Captain Solo assisted by applying a cold pack to the area and offered support through the rest of the journey.

We trudged along this gully for about three standard hours before we were able to climb back up and continue through our charted path. 

At 1340 we made a brief stop to lunch, rest and re-check my injured ankle, despite my insistence on it being fine. Captain Solo seems to have assumed the role of our party's medic, and he is almost zealous about it.

We met with the Wolonese group at 1728. They only allowed a brief exchange with myself before focusing solely on Lt. Skywalker for a good two hours.

Afterwards, they informed us that we would be sharing a meal and leave our business discussion for the morning. I tried to appeal to their reason by pointing out the gravity of the situation and the dangers of extending our stay, but they have insisted that we all need rest. My accidental, mild scraping has been of some concern to our hosts. Captain Solo has not cooperated in trying to assuage their impressions at all. I have nonetheless thanked and accepted their attentions in the spirit of diplomacy.

We were regaled with a variety of Wolonese dishes for dinner. Prior to reaching their encampment, I had reviewed for my group the importance of accepting all of our hosts’ food graciously. This was a matter of apprehension, since it would have been unwise to offend them. Solo, of course, countered my arguments with the ludicrous idea that we could be risking intentional or accidental poisoning, but I got him to agree not to mention this to the Wolonese.

The main course was skewered mandlertok (a native species of lizard) cooked over an open fire. I noticed Solo and Chewbacca muttering between themselves, though I was too preoccupied entertaining our hosts to understand what was being said. It would not be improper to surmise Chewbacca dared Solo to try one of the mandlertoks. He would have had to do anyway, as emphasized by my etiquette lesson, but I admit to not always understanding the dynamics of Solo and his co-pilot. Solo proceeded to grab a skewer and take a bite. We discovered at that point that mandlertoks pop when you bite into them. The look on Solo’s face was enough for me to do something I try not to do during missions: I giggled. This was a serious breach in etiquette, which I promptly tried to amend by apologizing to our hosts, but they indulged me by laughing as well. Solo was the only one who did not appear amused, especially when I commended him for his initiative, which I thought would appease him. After getting over the hilarity, I helped myself to a skewer. It turns out that mandlertoks are quite a delicacy, even if the popping takes some getting used to.

We have retired to get some sleep now. I requested to the Wolonese that they let us take turns so that one of us can share watch with one of their own. Had they refused, one of us would have stayed awake in our sleeping rolls anyway, but they agreed to it. Solo volunteered to take first watch. Despite my fatigue, I tried to dissuade him and offered to stay up myself. I am concerned his blatant mistrust will offend our hosts. He has been acting even more morosely than usual (which is puzzling since, barring my incident, everything has gone well so far and I have no reason to distrust the Wolonese) so I suggested he could use a nap. This was a mistake, as he didn’t take it kindly. He didn’t say much, mostly glowered at me. He can have such a bad attitude sometimes. But he is a good asset. He certainly takes care of his people, no matter what he says or the way he goes about it. That is something valuable indeed. I will try to sleep now, before he looks over at me and huffs loudly for the umpteenth time.

/end log


	4. IV. Kimeln's kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one involves a Halloween-y celebration, shared sweets, shared memories and UST.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters I've been posting for this series, this one included, had been previously posted on Tumblr. The reason I've been updating relatively fast is because I wanted to post this chapter today (convinced by my dear **imnothere24/graciecatfamilyband** ), since it's thematically appropriate. From now on the updates will be slower as the future chapters are not written yet :)
> 
> I’d originally thought of a couple of ideas set much earlier in (my mind's) the timeline than this one, but then I found the old prompts from last year’s hanleiasecretsanta Trick or Treat Challenge and decided on this. I'm very proud of it so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

The two moons that orbited Karinda, along with the billions of glittering specks that were common to every nocturnal sky, were off duty that night, hidden by a thick ceiling of clouds. For several seconds after Han had closed the gate behind him, the darkness felt as impenetrable as a wall. 

This was only exacerbated by the scenery he’d just left behind. His corneas glowed with the outlines of fluorescent green skeletons and spiders, the yellow flames of candles behind carved vegetables, the twinkling purple of the Nightsisters’ eyes.

It was All Hallows’ Eve, and command at Karinda Outpost had agreed to throw a little sort of party to boost morale among the rebels. The lists for Han’s latest supply runs had included decoration items as well as treats. He had smirked when he’d looked them over ( _ Now  _ this _ is my kind of hideout _ ). 

Leia’s authorization had been at the end of each list. He’d teased her a little about it, asked if she was the new head of the party planner committee, said she didn’t need to celebrate his awesomeness but she was welcome to all the same, congratulated her on realizing that’s what her soldiers needed to keep their spirits high—booze and snacks. She’d rolled her eyes at him every time, and every time had given him a snarky reply.

The truth was, the party was actually a smart idea. They’d been at Karinda for only a few weeks after another base had been compromised, forcing them to flee. Another rebel force that had been broken up and scattered across the galaxy. They all broke up, all the time, you go here and you go there and may the Force be with you because I might never see you again. Everyone but Leia, Luke, Han (and Chewie, who came with Han). Somehow they always went back to each other.

But the rest of them, they needed something like this to bond, to avoid thinking about their friends and family back home, or in a different base. Even if it was just for a couple of hours.

His eyes now accustomed to the darkness, he spotted the distant outline of green dots that gave away the scout station and started walking to it.

He slipped the mask over his eyes and held the box under one arm before climbing up the ladder.

The circular platform was no bigger than two square meters, the better part of which were occupied by various screens and sensors. There was a roof that hid the station from anything passing above it, but the walls opened to the balmy breeze that ran between the hills.

Leia sat in the narrow bench set in a vacant space against a wall, reading on her datapad. That was all Han had been able to see as he reached the platform before he found himself staring up at the business end of her blaster.

‘Hold up, Princess!’

‘Han?’

Her blaster arm went slack and she huffed. ‘Why did you sneak up on me like that?’

‘Wasn't tryin’ to,’ Han said honestly. He climbed the last two rungs and stepped in front of her. The station felt nearly ghostly with its blinking lights contrasted against the darkness outside.

Leia cocked her head to peer into his face and sniggered. ‘You're wearing a mask?’

‘Of course,’ Han said with a shrug. ‘All Hallows’ Eve, it's the rule.’

‘Uh-huh, that's not exactly true.’

‘Come on, you should be wearing one, too.’

‘Well, I didn’t bring one.’

He took the box out from under his arm and removed the mask he had secured around it by the elastic, then held it out for her.

‘Really?’ she asked, but took it anyway and put it on. The masks were cheap and only covered the eyes, but they all had an interesting shape, a sprinkling of glitter, a few feathers, something that made them whimsical. His mask was glittery silver and winged. He had tried not to give much thought to what he picked for Leia, but as he looked at her, he knew it was a good fit. The shape made him think of a bird of prey, with sharp cutouts over the eyes. The black background was embellished with swirls of fake blue gems. The result was breathtaking.

‘Looks good on you, Your Highness,’ he said.

Leia gave him a small, lopsided smile. 

‘Thanks. Why did you come here, anyway?’ she asked, putting her blaster back into her holster. ‘I thought you were looking forward to the party.’

She grabbed her datapad and placed it on her lap as she sat back down. Han took it as an invitation to sit next to her.

‘Sure. It's a good one, everyone's really enjoying themselves.’

‘So what's the problem?’

‘No problem. But you're missing out.’

Leia shrugged, looking straight ahead. ‘It's okay. Someone had to be here.’

‘Didn't have to be you.’

‘It didn't have to be anyone else,’ she pointed out. ‘It's fine, Han, I don't mind.’

_ Do you ever? _

‘Alright. Still, didn't seem fair that you missed all the candy.’

He offered her the box.

Leia looked down at it; mask and all, he could tell she was taken aback.

‘Oh—for me? Thanks.’

She placed the small box on top of her datapad and drew back the lid. Her face lit up with a smile.

‘Kimeln's kisses!’ she exclaimed in delight, taking one of the round, golden-foiled pieces out and holding it up to the light.

‘Knew you’d like ‘em.’

‘Who doesn't?’

‘Ahh, people who don't like chocolate, I guess?’

She turned her head to him; even in the dim light he could see a teasing eyebrow arching over her mask.

‘Monsters, you mean?’

Han laughed. ‘Right, yeah.’

Leia held out the wrapped chocolate in a silent offer.

‘Nah, I brought those for you.’

‘Come on,’ she insisted. ‘I'm not going to eat them all.’

‘Fine,’ he said, but he held the candy unopened in his hand. Pretending to be examining the scanner equipment in front of them, he glanced at Leia out of the corner of his eye as she took another Kimeln's kiss for herself.

He regretted making her wear the mask now, so he could see her expression as she unwrapped the chocolate. Her delicate fingers were careful not to tear the foil, and there was something of childlike wonder in the gesture. He recognized it from his younger self whenever he managed to get a sweet treat: driving himself mad with nearly lustful hunger, yet delaying his gratification to revere this precious object, to put off its consumption for as long as possible so that the reward would feel sweeter, lasting.

Absently, he peeled his own candy, eyes still darting to Leia. The bonbon was small but she bit it in half anyway, and he saw a glistening thread of caramel filling cling to her lips before she licked it off. In the quiet of the night, he heard her small sigh of pleasure.

_ Fuck _ .

He quickly crossed his legs and stuffed his own chocolate into his mouth, barely registering its rich taste as he swallowed it down.

As he forced his blood flow to reroute, it took his brain a moment to register that Leia was talking to him.

‘What?’

‘I said you don’t have to stay with me. If you’d rather go back to the party.’

‘If you  _ want _ me to go just say the word. Got something better to do here? More interesting plans?’ he drawled.

‘Oh, of course. It’s a raging party up here,’ Leia answered, the corner of her lips turning up sardonically. She’d finished the rest of her chocolate when Han wasn’t looking, he saw, torn between regret and relief.

‘Then I’ll stay, if you don’t mind the company. No one should be alone on Devil’s Night.’

‘Devil’s Night?’

‘It’s what we call it in Corellia. Devil comes up from Hell, goes around tryin’ to trick people into doin’ his bidding,’ Han explained.

‘Oh, I see. Which hell?’

‘Excuse me?’ Han asked, unable to keep the indignation from his voice.

‘I thought Corellians believed there were nine hells?’

‘Only morons do, sweetheart. Just the one Hell’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were religious. It’s just that… well, my father used to curse things to “all nine Corellian Hells” sometimes.’ Han caught the way her tone softened slightly at the mention of her father, and regretted unwittingly calling him a moron.

‘Who said anything about religion? Nah. I dunno. I dunno what I believe in. Just that nine hells are eight too many.’

She chuckled and her teeth glinted in the dark. ‘Very well.’

The box opened in front of him invitingly, and Han took another chocolate. Leia did too; she unwrapped it more carelessly this time and popped it whole into her mouth, but her jaw worked slowly as she luxuriated in the taste. It was hypnotic to follow the silhouette of her movements in the dark.

Han chewed into his candy too, and they remained silent for a couple of minutes as if in communion.

‘Did you use to dress up for All Hallows’ Eve, back when you were little?’ he asked after a while. ‘I don’t s’ppose you went trick or treating.’

‘I didn’t, no. It wasn’t really a tradition on Alderaan.’ She folded one leg under her and turned towards him on their seat. It felt odd to see her face half-hidden by a mask. It gave him a surreal feeling, a memory of something that had never happened.

‘For us it was a celebration of the ones that had left us,’ she continued. ‘A day to remember them not in grief but with joy. We set up small altars with mementos and offerings, and we had festivals with food, music and dance.’

‘You celebrate death, huh?’

‘We accept it—or try to—as a natural part of life,’ Leia explained. Her sentence ended with a heavy sigh, and her eyes wandered somewhere far off. It tugged at something inside of Han to see the look on her face when she thought about Alderaan or her family in pain. When it was just the two of them, he felt as if his arm wasn’t a part of him and struggled to wrap itself around her shoulders. But he never let it. 

He crossed his arms over his chest.

‘You know, in Corellia, we don’t care much for death. We try and fight it back. Devil’s Night, we make these giant figures with horns and angry faces, and we burn ‘em up.’

Leia was looking at him again now, her expression turning curious.

‘That seems fun.’

He nodded. ‘It’s quite a show. People dress up as the Devil, too, and chase after kids—well, mostly after the kids, anyway. They don’t mean to catch you, but you’re supposed to run, and after a while they stop and throw a bunch of candy at you.’

‘Wow. Did you not get scared of a stranger dressed as the Devil chasing you on a night when the Devil is supposed to be out and about?’

Han laughed. ‘I was a pretty ballsy kid, wasn’t goin’ to let that get in the way of some free candy.’

‘Fair enough.’ She took another Kimeln's kiss and offered him one, but he waved off the offer. ‘What kind of candy did you like as a kid?’

‘Well, fizzer-sweets were what people gave out the most, but they were good enough. Caramelized pknebs, when I could get them.’ He flicked the box on her lap gently. ‘Chocolate was a luxury—the real thing was, anyway. These days I’d rather get a good ryshcate.’

‘What’s that?’

Han leaned back on his arms a little, looking at the still overcast sky outside. He realized he’d been looking for the light of Corellia.

‘Little pastry filled with whiskey and vweilu nuts.’

‘Sounds scrumptious,’ she remarked.

‘It is. What about you, Princess? Have Kimeln's kisses always been your favourite treat?’

‘Oh, no. My  _ most _ favourite treats were starblossom-filled chocolate bars. It was rare to get them at any other time but All Hallows’ Eve, except for specialized shops that did limited batches all year round. I always got one for my Name Day.’

She was starting to look sad again and he was racking his brains for something to say... change the topic or comfort her, he didn’t know yet, but suddenly she blinked and said, her voice low and calm, ‘How do I know you’re not the Devil here to trick me into doing his bidding?’

Caught off guard, he said, ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean…’ She turned her head to the front now, but kept it slightly tilted, her neck exposed to him. ‘You said you were staying with me because the Devil might come up here and trick me. But how do I know you’re not him in disguise, tricking me?’

She was smirking slightly—kriff, he loved it when she smirked, even if it made him feel like she could make him do anything and he’d say yes—and was she… could she possibly be flirting with him, or only trying to distract herself from the painful memories?

‘Sweetheart, for all I know you've been the Devil the whole time,’ Han told her in a rough whisper.

Leia let out a soft gasp and their eyes met as she turned to look back at him. Her lips were parted and the pinpricks of light from the consoles danced over her brown eyes.

There were many times when he’d thought about kissing her, but as their heads leaned imperceptibly towards each other, Han didn't think of what was about to happen. He just thought of the mask hiding the face of a beautiful woman who was a stranger tonight. Not a princess, not a rebel, not the survivor of a tragedy. Just a stranger in a strange night where the veil between worlds thinned, or so the old folk would have you believe.

The rustle of something rushing through the tall grasses below made Leia jerk back. Her datapad and the box of Kimeln's fell off her lap and landed with a clatter at her feet, but she was already standing up and checking the scanners.

Han realized now they hadn’t been as close as he’d thought when he was staring at her lips.

_ Must have been a trick of the light. _

Had she been leaning in at all?

‘Nothing out there. It was probably a small critter,’ she was saying. 

Her mask was pushed back and it was Leia looking down at him. Leia, who didn’t want him to kiss her. Or did she? He could never be sure.

_ And then what? _

A trick question. A trick. He wasn’t going to play any tricks and he wasn’t going to be played. He was leaving.

_ YOU ARE LEAVING. _

But he was always leaving, and yet that had never mattered so much as it did now.

‘Han?’

He looked up and realized Leia had been staring at him with concern.

‘Why don’t you go along and join the party, Princess? I can finish your watch,’ he offered.

‘What? No, I really don’t mind staying.’

‘I know but—you’re the one who made it happen, people should see you enjoying yourself, too. Luke—he was wondering where you were. Or, I dunno, you could get some sleep.’

She frowned.

‘What about the Devil?’

‘I ain’t scared of anything,’ he said defiantly.

But the words echoed inside him after she’d left until they sounded as hollow as the vegetable lantern he’d carved and placed on the  _ Falcon _ ’s cockpit earlier, shining down a different reality.


	5. V. Polystarch and nerfburgers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which someone is hungry for more than grilled meat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and/or a comment if you liked it! Sorry for the wait! Happy holidays!

Ordinarily, nothing much went on in the moon of Uoth as far as sentient beings were concerned. The entirety of its terrain was volcanic in nature; the rest was water. Most of the planet’s life forms were aquatic and of little value to the Empire, which meant they never bothered with a visit.

That was their mistake.

Today, there weren’t only birds, frogs and crabs on the ground; there were also rebel soldiers.

Leia walked over the solidified lava that made up the landscape, shaped like soft round rocks here, rising in geometrical pillars there, at once ground, hills, steps, caves. The grey basalt contrasted starkly against the light and deep blues of sky and ocean; that and the patches of white salt, green algae and yellow lichen that coloured it saved the planet from being bleak.

It was beautiful in its own unique way, and Leia would have never visited it, either, if it wasn’t for the war. It was easy to forget the misery in the world, the peril they would face in mere hours, when you stood still and looked at those clear skies and rumbling, white-crested waves.

But, right now, she was allowed to forget about it for a while. Plumes of smoke rose in the breeze a few meters ahead; as she approached Han Solo, Leia heard the tantalizing sizzle of grilling meat. Her mouth watered in anticipation.

Han’s bare torso wasn’t sizzling but it seemed equally appealing, with its gilded, shapely muscles under the sun.

Cheeks considerably warmer, Leia averted her sight, looking instead at the small group of tents erected nearby, next to the shuttle that would take them down to Vangar that night. She surveyed the crew she’d chosen to command for this mission. Apart from her and Han, there was Chewie, of course, presently tinkering with the shuttle. Luke and Artoo (they had decided they could do without Threepio this time) sat near a group of the natural chimney-like structures, overlooking the water. Leia was sure that Luke had taken out his lightsaber and was examining it, as if hoping for answers to reveal themselves if he rubbed it the right way.

She had also chosen Jyn Odan—the woman was like a female version of Han: reckless, agile, a quick draw and more importantly, a skilled smuggler. Even if Han’s professional jealousy insisted he and Chewie were all she needed, Leia knew better. For this mission, she’d needed Odan too. Her black hair shone whenever she cocked her head as she cleaned and checked her weapons. Leia couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but the sounds of her conversation with Croy Winnis carried in the air.

Not having anywhere else to be, she finally walked up to Han and the battered grill he was working.

‘These were a really good idea,’ Leia commented, pushing a multitude of air-swept baby hairs off her face. ‘They’re looking fantastic.’

Han turned to her and his chest immediately puffed up, a hand going to rest on his hip. Leia forced herself not to follow it. ‘Yep. That’s ‘cos I’m an amazing cook.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘If you wanted to show it, you should have picked something that required more than flipping over.’

Waving her off, he turned back to the nerfburgers, which up close smelled as good as they looked. ‘How was your excursion?’

‘Fine. It’s an interesting place. Anything I can do to help?’

‘You can start makin’ the polystarch, these are nearly done.’

‘Okay.’ Leia kneeled in front of a bag of supplies that sat next to the portable chiller unit and started removing the portioned polystarch powder. ‘That’s the one thing that will be less than perfect for this picnic. Polystarch isn’t nearly as good as bread.’

She immediately regretted voicing her thoughts. Bread? Was she really wishing for bread, when the nerfburgers were enough of a rare treat as to be luxurious? And to Han, no less. She’d have no right to complain when he treated her as a pampered little princess.

He didn’t seem about to do that now, though. He just kept poking at the coals and said, ‘Can’t argue with that, ‘cept to say if we did have bread, it’d feel too much like a last meal.’

Leia chuckled, feeling her tension ease up. She sat down on the ground next to a tiny folding table and picked up a deep plate, poured the brownish powder from one of the packages and added a tiny bit of water from a canteen. After stirring it briefly with a spoon, the mixture rose and became solid, shaped like a lumpy, round loaf of bread.

‘Right,’ she said. ‘We have to keep it real.’

She repeated the process six times, the bread piling up on the table (she kept checking that they weren’t about to spill over onto the ground). Meanwhile, Han seemed to be doing the same with the burgers, making a heap on a plate that he kept on top of a crate.

‘How many burgers are there for each of us?’

‘Three, and one more for Chewie.’ He finally left the grill alone and came over to her. ‘Give me these, I wanna toast them up a bit.’

‘You think that’ll improve the flavour?’ she joked.

‘A bit.’ He placed them on top of the grill, then bent down to rummage through the bag she’d retrieved the polystarch from. With a lopsided grin, he showed her his prize: a handful of little sachets of condiments. ‘This might help, too.’

A disbelieving gasp rushed out through her open mouth and, before she could stop herself, she said, ‘You  _ are _ amazing.’

Han looked so genuinely shocked, it took him a full second to say, ‘Been tellin’ you that, Princess.’

Leia rolled her eyes, but the corners of her mouth turned up as she started to make a new batch of polystarch. She had two more buns ready when Han started taking out the now toasty loaves. He set them all next to the cooked burgers and opened the chiller before laying out another six discs of nerf meat on the grill.

There was a dirty rag hanging from his back pocket; the smuggler took it out and wiped his face, neck and at last, his hands, then he put it back. The motion made her look at his shiny, toned arms. Once again, Leia looked away before he saw, pressing her lips.

It wasn’t the first time she saw him without a shirt; he often took it off to work on the  _ Falcon _ whenever they were stationed in warm climates. At first, she hadn’t paid it any attention. She hadn’t know Han well back then: she had a strong instinct that he wasn’t all he pretended to be, and that made her hold on to him as a valuable asset. However, his personality had been repellent to her, and so had been the rest of him by association. But as they’d grown closer, developing a physical attraction to him had been inevitable. Sometimes she regretted not kissing him that night on Karinda, as they shared All Hallows’ Eve traditions and chocolate. Maybe it’d be good to have someone she could go to whenever things got too much. When that thought occurred to her, she’d immediately shake it off. No; she was glad they had avoided that. Things would get more complicated than they already were. Besides, it had been him who’d pulled away. So, despite his constant flirting and innuendo, maybe he didn’t  _ actually _ want to sleep with her. He’d probably like someone more like Jyn Odan.

It was a good thing Han constantly gave her reasons to dislike the whole of him again.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Han now taking a polystarch bun and cutting it in half.

‘Shall we start calling people over?’ Leia asked.

‘No, not yet.’ He picked up a sachet of Bimm mustard and spread it generously on each half of polystarch.

‘So… are you going to start preparing all the burgers then?’

Han gave her an incredulous look. ‘No, I’m gonna have one now. I’ll still be grillin’ while you all eat, so I get a headstart.’

That was only partially true: the grill wasn’t big enough to make all the burgers at once, but he could still eat while he checked on it.

Leia scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest after she’d deposited another bun on the tiny table. ‘That sounds like bullshit.’

‘That sounds like you’re hungry,’ Han said with a grin.

‘Of course I am, we all are!’

‘Tell you what, you can have half of mine. C’mon, we’ll just have this and call the others,’ he added when she looked uncertain. She  _ was _ very hungry, and the burgers seemed like a heavenly meal. If she had to watch Han eating one in front of her, she might jump to his throat. The inside of her mouth felt uncomfortably wet.

‘Fine,’ she mumbled, swallowing as she casted a quick glance at the rest of the team.

His satisfied smile was wide as he speared a thick nerfburger with his knife and sandwiched it between the two buns. He placed it on top of the crate to cut it in half and offered hers with a sardonic bow.

After weeks of bland rations and mess food, she couldn’t even pretend to slow down: Leia bit her half of nerfburger and groaned loudly.

‘As good as it looked,’ she said, covering her half-full mouth with a hand.

That made Han break out in a hearty, surprised ‘Ha!’ before he dove into his own burger.

Sitting on the ground, only Han’s legs were in Leia’s field of vision as he stood in front of her, eating. The breeze had picked up and played with her loose strands of hair, which whipped at her face and got into her mouth as she went to take another bite. Leia tried to push them away but, on top of its comparative blandness, polystarch was also crumblier than bread and threatened to fall apart unless she held it tightly with both hands.

She stiffened as something long—a finger, she realized a second later—hooked the rebellious locks and pushed them up, and then the hand it belonged to stayed pressed against her forehead like a barrier.

‘Go on,’ Han said. ‘Can’t let you choke on your own hair, Your Worship.’

Leia stared up at him in disbelief, but he wasn’t joking: he simply stood there, with the warm back of his hand against her skin as if he was feeling for a fever, waiting for her to finish eating.

‘Oi! Coulda let us know food was ready, couldn’t ya?’ Winnis called out suddenly. Leia turned around and saw that everyone had approached when they saw them eating.

‘Sorry folks, we were just quality-testing them,’ Han said, dropping his hand. ‘First round is ready, if you wanna put them together.’

He passed around the tray with the cooked nerfburgers and buns, then threw each of the rebels a sachet of condiment.

‘Can confirm they’re good.’ Giving Leia a wink, he added, ‘The Imps won’t know what hit ‘em.’


	6. VI. Ryshcate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealousy rears its ugly head in this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little homage to Carrie through one of her quotes. Let me know if you spot it!
> 
> Don't worry, there's a follow-up.

He should have seen it coming. Or rather, should have seen  _ her _ coming, after he’d deliberately ignored her since before she’d even left for her special little mission. It had been a matter of time before she’d come seeking him herself, either with concern or in a rage. He should have also guessed it would be the latter.

Princess Leia Organa, formerly of Alderaan, presently of anywhere and anyone she damn well pleased, stomped through his ship and Han thought her diminutive feet had no right to make that big of a noise. If he didn’t know she was about the only person on base who would dare—or have reason to—do such a thing, he would have imagined a fathier had somehow found its way into the  _ Falcon _ .

Still, he did not crawl out of the space under the shield generator he was performing some routine maintenance on. He didn’t look away from his work, either, until the offending steps stopped somewhere close. Lifting his head a bit, Han saw brown boots and slender calves covered in beige pants standing next to his own legs. He looked back up.

‘You know when your comlink buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?’ Leia asked.

‘I’m a little busy here, in case you didn’t notice. Don’t have time to be at your beck and call, Your Highnessness.’

Where she had sounded controlled before, her words now came out cold and hard. ‘What is  _ that _ supposed to mean?’

‘Means what it sounds like,’ Han replied, his tone dismissive. ‘Just ‘cos I take jobs from you now and then don’t mean I’m available at all times. ‘M not one of your soldiers.’

‘And don’t you ever let me forget it,’ Leia spat out. What she said next seemed to be said not with anger, though, but… hurt, perhaps. ‘What is your problem?’

Han wished he could have seen her face, and immediately took it back. It was the last thing he needed. 

What was his problem? He’d already been asked that by several people, including Chewie and Luke. His mood had been foul lately, he knew that—what he didn’t know was what  _ they _ had to complain about, anyway. It wasn’t as if he’d gone around punching walls or picking fights. He’d just gone sullen. Big deal.

He couldn’t help it, just like he couldn’t help what he’d heard.

‘No problem,’ Han said. It was not a problem that she had favoured the aristocrat-looking guy, who didn’t sound as pompous as you’d expect but rather, soft-spoken, kind and cultured, over him to accompany her on a mission. It was not a problem that she hadn’t chosen Han or Chewie to even be a part of her crew. It was not a problem that she’d argued to other members of High Command that his ship wasn’t up to par for this mission, that there was surely something else he could do. Not a problem  _ at all _ that the rebel grapevine mentioned a past history between the princess and the newcomer, commented on their more-than-amiable rapport.

It wasn’t a problem, because he couldn’t afford to let it be a problem. But if she didn’t want to be near him when it suited her, he wouldn’t pretend it was all peachy.

‘If you have an errand for us, you can leave the details with Chewie. We’ll check it out and get back to you if we can do it.’

Leia was silent for what seemed like a very long time, as if too stunned to speak. Then, her voice taut, she said, ‘Very well, Captain. I won’t bother you anymore, if that’s what you want.’

Something hit the floor with a thud before she walked away. The muttered ‘Choke on it’ was very clearly heard on her way out.

Only when her steps were out of earshot did Han push himself out of the crawl space. As he did so, his leg brushed against a small brown box. There were faint fingerprint marks on it, as if it had been held by stick hands. Frowning, Han opened the lid.

A lone ryshcate sat inside; the golden bun filled with vweilu nuts that broke the surface. He remembered telling her about them once, saying he liked them. He’d imagined getting hold of one at some point and bringing it back for her, watching her face as she tasted it.

Instead, she’d brought one back for  _ him _ from her mission, the one she hadn’t wanted him to be a part of, the one that had been so classified, Han hadn’t even known where she was going. Corellia, it seemed.

He felt a pang of regret—but also, confusion. Bitterness. Reproach. Doubt.

‘[What the hell happened now?]’ Chewie growled, peering into the compartment and down at Han. He didn’t bother answering. ‘[If you want to be her boyfriend just tell her. The princess is bright but she’s not a mind-reader, you know.]

‘What the hell are you talkin’ about?’ Han barked, standing up. He snapped the box shut and pointed a finger at Chewie. ‘She’s—I’m not—I’d  _ never _ —I don’t wanna be her stupid boyfriend, alright?’

Then he strode off past his co-pilot.

_ But I don’t want anyone else to, either. _


	7. VII. Hillindor fowl soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone needs hot soup and someone needs things to stop being so damn confusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a lengthy continuation to the previous installment. 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you've enjoyed it, thoughts, wishes, etc.! :)

Rather than seeking clarity, Han ran.

He and Chewie accepted a mission that took them to a backwater planet and from there to another base for a couple of weeks. He didn’t see Leia before and he didn’t see her after, but he did hear about her. It was only a couple of hours before Luke walked into the  _ Falcon _ to say hi and informed them that Leia was ill. Nothing dangerous, he said; she’d been one of the victims of a bout of the stomach flu that had fallen upon the rebel base in Han's absence. The medics had acted quickly, putting the diseased on quarantine and enforcing a severe hygiene regime, which had managed to prevent mass contagion. 

The convalescing rebels had been deemed non-contagious just a few days prior the  _ Falcon _ ’s return, but most of them were still recovering in their quarters (a privileged few who counted with their own private rooms had been allowed to stay there; the ones who weren’t so fortunate had been grouped together in isolated barracks). After their spaces had been thoroughly cleaned, they had been allowed to receive visitors other than human medics and droids, too. Luke had tried to visit Leia the day before, he told Han and Chewie as they caught up, but she had refused him, saying that it couldn’t hurt to be extra cautious. Nobody had seen the princess out of her quarters so far.

Through all of this information, Han frowned and asked. ‘What d’ya mean she hasn’t been out of her room in weeks? Kid, I know she’s scary but did you really try to visit her just  _ once _ ? Have you even talked to the medics to make sure she’s recoverin’ and didn’t, I dunno, catch somethin’ worse? What are they feedin’ her, do you think?’

The answers he was getting only made Han increasingly frustrated and, at last, Luke threw his hands up and said, ‘What are you so snappy about, anyway? I thought you guys were fighting!’

‘So what? You’re not supposed to care about people anymore just ‘cos you’re mad at them? Nice to know that’s how you treat your friends. Real nice.’

‘I just didn't expect you to want her entire medical report. Anyway, it's not like she's been completely incommunicado, we've messaged now and then. Don't you think she would've told me if she still wasn't feeling well?’

Han resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  _ How does he not know Her Royal Highness at all yet? _

‘Oh sure. Forgot who we've been talkin’ about—the  _ other  _ Princess Leia, who didn’t refuse medical treatment just ‘cos someone else was hurt too, or hid a bleedin’ wound till we'd completed a mission.’

Luke seemed taken aback by Han’s words, then abashed. ‘Oh… Do you think she’s—’ He shook his head forcefully. ‘She’s been seen by medics, even if she fooled us she couldn’t fool them.’

‘Right, ‘cept you haven’t talked to her medics.’

‘But I did talk to Solimarr—’

Han scowled and barked, ‘You  _ what _ ?’

‘I talked to Markus Solimarr. What’s wrong?’

‘So the Princess let  _ him _ visit but not you?’

‘I mean, she was supposed to, as he’s a medic…’

‘Didn’t know that,’ Han grumbled.

‘Han, why don’t you go ask the medics yourself if you don’t believe me? Or better yet, go visit her, maybe she’ll open the door for you!’

‘[Yes, why don’t you go see if she’ll open the door to you]’, Chewie tittered. Han glared at him.

‘What was that?’ Luke asked, but Han chose to answer his earlier question instead.

‘Yeah, maybe I’ll do just that, since you’re as useful as a blister gnat.’

Luke waved him off, a sour expression on his face, and got up. ‘I’m gonna go now, you’re not nice when you’re crabby.’

And with that, he was gone. So different from Leia, who would match him blow for blow before stomping off, not without getting the last word in. Luke hated pointless confrontation. Han thought it was preferable to confronting other kinds of things, like why did it bother him that this Solimarr dude was still around and seeing Leia—as if there weren’t other medics on base!—or why had Han acted like he’d blown a fuse the last time he’d seen her and still hadn’t figured out how to thank her for the ryshcate. How to make things right between them again.

* * *

Han really hadn’t meant to ask Markus Solimarr about Leia. He’d considered going straight to her quarters, but he needed to know from the medics that she wasn’t seriously sick first, in case she was and tried to hide it (or in case she wasn’t but claimed to be to avoid seeing him).

It was just his luck that Solimarr had been the only medic available to chat.

‘Yep, Princess Leia is making a good recovery overall. Still getting her strength back, that’s why she’s chosen to remain in her rooms for a bit longer—she’s not the only one,’ Solimarr told him. ‘You’re Solo, right? Friend of hers?’

‘Yeah,’ Han said, trying to swallow his animosity against this man he barely knew. He doubted it was Leia who had referred to Han as a “friend of hers”; it probably had been Luke.

‘We hadn’t met yet. The Princess asked me to accompany her on a mission not long after I arrived and then I understand you were sent away as well.’

Han’s jaw tightened at the sour memory. ‘That’s right.’

Solimarr looked expectantly at him for several seconds, perhaps waiting for Han to share more about himself. When it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, he said, ‘Her Highness really pushed to keep you out of our mission to Corellia—your homeplanet, if I’m not mistaken—’

The smuggler’s face felt stony as he stood there, hearing this man throw salt in the wound but, dimly, despite the blood rushing loudly through his ears, he heard the rest of the sentence.

‘—and good thing she did: the whole planet is on high alert looking for you and your ship, Solo.’

‘What?’ Han asked, frowning.

‘Half of Corellia seems to want to hand you over to the Empire, while the other half is convinced that bounty hunters will give them a cut of the profits if they help catch you,’ Solimarr explained. ‘That race you were on a while ago—the Princess told me a bit about it—put you on the spotlight.’

With a scoff, Han said, ‘Are you tellin’ me that I woulda been in more danger than  _ Leia _ ?’

‘Well, the Empire is still publicly acting as if she was dead, to save face. Oh, they’re looking for her, they take any intel on her they can get their hands on, but they punish anyone who openly claims to have seen her.’

So Leia had taken Han out of the mission… to protect him? That seemed unlike her. They were all wanted people. Was his head that much at risk these days? It made sense now, what he’d heard her say about him and the  _ Falcon _ not being good enough for her mission, if she was trying to keep him out.

‘Okay… Listen, is it safe to visit Leia then?’ he asked, deciding it was best to change the topic and get what he’d come here for. ‘You sure she’s not incubatin’ something more serious and hidin’ it?’

‘Quite sure, yes. I checked in on her just this morning. As to whether she’ll actually let you see her, you’ll have to ask her yourself. I understand she hasn’t been taking visitors. You know the Princess. She may be in bed but she’s far from resting from her duties.’ Solimarr chuckled fondly.

A primal part of Han wanted to punch the guy for talking about Leia with that familiarity. Also for talking about Leia and a bed in the same sentence.

The other part, the one that had actually been trying to enlighten him on the Leia situation, made him twist his mouth in a wry smile and ask, ‘You’ve known her for a while, huh?’

Markus gave him an amused look. ‘I see you guys have talked a lot about me.’

_ We haven’t talked about anything, lately _ , Han thought.

‘Yes, the Princess and I go way back. I’m glad we’ve run into each other’s path again, even if temporarily.’

That made Han frown. ‘You’re leavin’?’

‘Oh yes. I was a spy until recently. I came here only until I could be relocated to a base that needed me—this one doesn’t.’

‘But what about Leia? You’re just gonna leave her?’ Han asked, unable to keep his voice from raising in outrage. What kind of man would walk away from Leia? The medic looked at him with confusion.

‘Leave  _ her _ ?’

‘Look, man, I know she acts like she’s got it all together, she needs nothin’ and nobody, just fine on her own. She probably insisted on you leavin’ and all. But you don’t know what it’s been like. You don’t get to show up in her life and just take off after a few weeks.’

Solimarr’s deep blue eyes widened in comprehension.

‘Oh! Did you think Princess Leia and I… were a couple? Did somebody tell you that, or are you just the kind of guy who thinks every man who gets close to a woman he’s attracted to is competition?’ he said, too accusatory for Han’s liking.

‘I don’t like Leia that way,’ Han said firmly, ‘we’re just friends, like you said. ‘M just lookin’ after her.’

‘Okay,’ Solimarr said in a tone that suggested disbelief. ‘She and I are just friends as well. I’m flattered you thought that, she’s a remarkable woman, but no, it was never like that between us.’

The medic checked his chrono and straightened up. ‘I’m afraid I have somewhere else to be now. Nice to meet you, Han, and good luck convincing the Princess to let you in.’ He started to turn away, then looked back at Han over his shoulder. ‘You keep looking after her, all right?’

_ Can’t. I’m leaving too _ , Han wanted to say, but he kept the words to himself and just nodded once. The irony wasn’t lost on him, but it was too hard to acknowledge.

* * *

The door to Leia’s quarters was pretty unremarkable, yet Han had been standing there staring at it for nearly ten minutes, occasionally shuffling his feet as if to turn back the way he came, passing the small styrofoam container from one hand to the other as he scowled at it. That was a lot of hesitating for someone who preferred to shoot first and ask questions later. He didn’t like it. 

He’d just been trying to figure out what to say to her, but hadn’t made a lot of progress so far.

Finally, with an impatient grunt, he knocked.

‘Who is it?’ Leia’s voice asked after a while.

‘Ah, it’s me.’

‘... Han?’

‘Yeah. Heard you’ve been sick.’

‘Just the stomach flu. I’m feeling better now, though.’

‘Did I wake you up?’ Han asked. It was fairly late in the evening; he’d wanted to avoid people seeing him and feeding the rumour mill.

‘Oh no, it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.’

‘Can you open the door?’ 

‘I’d rather not,’ she said slowly. ‘I might still be contagious.’

‘That’s not what the medics say. I’ll take my chances,’ Han said. Talking to the door was starting to irritate him.

‘Han, I mean it.’ That was Leia’s no-nonsense voice, but it’d never had much effect on him and she’d have no such luck now. ‘Whatever it is you came here for, you don’t need me to open the door for it.’

‘I kinda do. I brought you somethin’.’

‘What is it?’

Han smirked. ‘Gotta open the door and see.’

‘Just leave it there and I’ll pick it up after you’re gone!’

‘No can do. Come on, princess, ‘m not kiddin’. I’m not leaving ‘til you open the door.’

‘I hope you’re willing to sleep in the hallway, then.’

‘I am,’ Han bluffed.

‘Good.’

They were silent, and for a moment Han really considered sitting down on the floor, getting comfortable for a night spent outside Leia’s door. She was in for a treat: he was planning on annoying the hell out of her until she gave in. That would attract some attention for sure, but whatever.

Then, the door slid open, so sudden and unexpectedly it made Han jump.

The sight that greeted him was even more startling. Hearing that Leia had been ill wasn’t the same as seeing her. She was paler and thinner than usual, dressed in the grey tank top and shorts she probably slept in. There were purplish circles under her eyes, which made them look darker and bigger, almost haunted. Her arms crossed over her chest did nothing to hide how frail she looked. She probably hated it. That’s why she hadn’t wanted anyone to see her.

‘Have you eaten yet?’ Han asked, forcing himself to stop staring at her.

‘Um, I had some oatmeal earlier.’

Leia cast a quick glance out at the hallway, then stepped back to let Han inside and palmed the door closed again.

‘Here,’ Han said, handing her the white container. ‘Drink this. You’ll feel better.’

‘What is it?’ Walking over to a small camping table, she set the styrofoam bowl down and took off the lid, peering at the contents.

‘Hillindor fowl soup.’

‘Oh.’ Leia said, disappointed. ‘You know, I  _ have _ been fed fowl soup. It’s one of the few things I’ve been able to keep down. We have as much here, even if it’s not… um… particularly flavourful.’

‘I know.’ Han held out a spoon. ‘This isn’t the one from mess. I added a personal touch.’

That made Leia perk up. ‘Interesting. Let’s see, then.’

She sat down on one of the two folding chairs of the room. Han stood behind the other, hands braced on the backrest, and watched her scoop a spoonful of soup. Her lips pursed as she blew gently on it before putting it in her mouth.

Her eyes opened in surprise. ‘Mmm! Stars, what did you  _ do _ to it?’

‘Can’t give away all my secrets, can I?’ Han said with a wink.

Leia’s smiled faded and she looked away before continuing to take careful sips of soup in silence.

Han was stunned for a few minutes, wondering what had happened—he didn’t believe she would have taken offense at him not sharing his soup recipe—until the credit chip dropped.

For a while, he’d forgotten all about the fact that the last time he’d seen her he’d acted like a rancor, that they hadn’t spoken in weeks afterwards. They had easily lapsed back into their usual dynamic, but he couldn’t pretend that nothing had happened like they usually did with their more stupid arguments. She didn’t seem to want to, this time.

‘Thanks for the ryshcate,’ Han said. 

Leia looked up at him—kriff, she looked so damn young right now, so much in need of someone to tuck her into bed and rub her back until she fell asleep… someone her age. He had no karking right to feel so jealous, so possessive, so protective of her. Against his worst instincts, he didn’t kiss her that night on Karinda, because he was going to leave at some point and Leia deserved someone who would stay. And he couldn’t give her that, no matter how beautiful and spunky she was. It had been the right choice, as he wasn’t right for her. Even if he regretted it sometimes.

‘It was nice of you to remember. Tasted great.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Leia said, her voice quiet and a little too formal, large eyes still on him.

‘Did you, ah, try some yourself?’ he asked.

‘I did. I enjoyed it.’

‘S’ppose we can count it out as the source for the stomach bug, since I didn’t get it,’ Han joked. 

The corner of Leia’s mouth quirked up, but she still seemed reluctant to let go. ‘I guess so.’

Han straightened up, taking a deep, bracing breath. ‘I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Wasn’t havin’ a good day.’

He wanted to ask if she’d really tried to protect him by keeping him out of the mission to Corellia, but that would have made him admit that  _ that _ was why he’d been such an ass. That it’d felt like a snub to not be on that mission with her, even if they weren’t paired together in  _ every _ mission (but in most of them, they were).

Leia breathed out, relaxing a little. ‘That’s okay.’

So that was it.

‘I should go. I’ll leave you to it,’ Han said, tilting his chin at her soup, which she’d been quietly polishing off. He imagined it was probably the first food she truly enjoyed in days. ‘Uh, d’you need anything?’

‘No, I’m good, thanks. And thank you for the soup. If… if you have some leftover and you weren’t going to eat it—’

‘I’ll bring it over tomorrow,’ Han said. Leia grinned.

He was nearly at the door when she called him. She was looking at him with an intense expression, her hands gripping the table.

‘I know… I know our conditions are not great. We don’t have a lot to offer for a man like you. We’ve put you at risk many times and were only able to provide you with ship parts for your troubles. But we… um, we really appreciate it.’

At any other time, Han would have given anything to hear her say that. He would have gloated. He would probably have recorded her for posterity. Now, he felt as if he wasn’t supposed to hear that. It felt wrong to get it out of her when she was looking so vulnerable. It made him feel like this rebellion maybe did have something to offer to a man like him, and that was yet another reason to run.


	8. VIII. Zoochberry pie and eggnog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only it was as simple as kissing under needle blossom...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was born as a sort of stand-in for a GFFA Christmas/New Year fic, but I decided to go with Life Day from the cursed Holiday Special. The traditions mentioned here are either made up or modified from canon.
> 
> Pretty please leave a comment with your thoughts if you read and like it!
> 
> "Hungry Hearts" is going to be on a posting hiatus after this because -at last- I just finished a seven-chapter post-RotJ fic that will hopefully begin posting soon! Stay tuned if you're interested!

There was a bunch of strange-looking weeds tied up with string hanging from the ceiling above Leia’s workstation that morning. As rebels from the night shift left and others came in, she called out to them. ‘Who put this here?’

A few heads turned her way and shrugged. Frowning, she took a closer look. The leaves were long, thin and dark green, with sharp tips. Nestled amongst them were clusters of tiny, translucent blueish-white berries.

She had never seen this kind of plant. She didn’t dare touch it in case it was poisonous (it was unlikely that it was part of a double-agent’s scheme to kill her, as she doubted they would be quite this stupid—but one could never be sure). Leia didn’t want to cut it down and throw it away lest she disrespect someone’s tradition that she hadn’t heard of yet (but nobody seemed to be able to enlighten her). It was far enough above her head that Leia could easily sit down and get to work without worrying about it touching her or getting in her field of vision, so that was what she ended up doing.

Through the morning, newcomers who would walk or stop by Leia’s station asked her about the mysterious bouquet with curiosity, to the point she considered sticking a sign to it that said “I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS SO DON’T ASK”. Others looked at it and then her with what she’d recognized as sympathy, perhaps believing it was an Alderaanian ritual she was observing, but said nothing. A couple of them sniggered as if it was a private joke, but were gone before she could get it out of them.

At noon, the mystery was solved… by none other than Han Solo.

‘Will you look at  _ that _ , Princess!’ he said dramatically as he strode up to her station.

Leia took her headphones off and gave him a withering look before repeating a well-honed sentence: ‘It was here when I got in this morning, I don’t know what it is or who put it there, but you’re free to take it down.’

‘You don’t know what it is, huh?’ he asked, his smile smug enough that it let her know that  _ he _ did know what the wildlife decoration was about.

She shook her head, looking back at her screens. ‘I don’t, and unless you want to tell me in as few words as possible, I’ll go back to work if that’s all.’

Unfazed, he leaned against her console and pointed at the hanging bouquet. ‘That right there is needle blossom from Kashyyyk.’

‘What’s it doing here?’

‘Well, Wookiees hang them around for Life Day.’

‘So Chewie put this here? Is it Life Day today?’ Leia asked, her curiosity piqued.

‘Yeah, today’s Life Day,’ he said, ignoring the first question. Han opened his mouth but Leia cut him off.

‘Tell him thank you,’ she said, gesturing at the plants. ‘I’ll go wish him a happy Life Day myself later… unless that goes against the customs for the occasion? Should I get him anything?’

Han waved a hand at her impatiently. ‘Nah, don’t worry ‘bout it. So this…’ He reached out a finger to poke at the waxy berries. ‘Accordin’ to Life Day tradition, anyone who’s standin’ under needle blossom has to get a kiss for good luck.’

Leia looked brusquely up at him, narrowing her eyes. ‘Oh, really?’

‘Yup,’ he replied, examining the bouquet with apparent interest.

‘Seems to me the tradition has been rigged, since I didn’t see needle blossom hanging anywhere else.’

Han shrugged. ‘I don’t make the rules.’

‘Are you sure about that?’ she muttered darkly. Standing up, she stepped away from the ornament. ‘I’m off to lunch.’

‘Don’t mind if I do,’ Han said, following her.

‘Oh, but I do.’

‘Hey, I just came to warn you!’ Han said, holding up his hands as he walked next to her. ‘You know, if you refuse a kiss, you get  _ bad _ luck for seven years—’

‘Yeah? I’ll take my chances.’

‘—so lotsa people are going to want to kiss you just to spare you from that awful fate—’

‘I’m sure they will.’

‘—but if you get just one kiss, you’re safe, and they’ll leave you alone,’ Han finished.

‘Maybe I should ask Luke and get it over with, then,’ Leia said, stopping dead on her tracks. ‘Or Wedge. Or—’

‘Or you could get it over with right now, Princess,’ Han said, pointing upwards. Leia’s eyes followed his finger and she groaned: hanging from the hatch of the corridor they were about to exit was another bunch of needle blossom. She took a quick leap forward and kept walking.

‘ _ Or _ , it’s only appropriate that I ask Chewie to do the honours, since it’s his tradition,’ she said as if nothing had happened.

‘Would you rather kiss a Wookiee?’ he yelled after her before continuing his pursuit.

‘So if this is an actual holiday, how come it’s the first time I’m hearing about it?’ Leia asked, since she couldn’t shake him off. ‘You two have been here for nearly three years.’

‘That’s ‘cos it’s celebrated every three years.’

Leia raised an eyebrow at him over her shoulder.

‘If you’re making this up, you can stop.’

‘I’m not! Came all the way here to invite you to the  _ Falcon _ tonight, you can ask Chewie yourself if you don’t believe me,’ Han said, giving her a mock wounded look.

Before she could answer, a series of things happened in rapid succession.

‘Look out, Princess!’ Wes Janson exclaimed, jumping into her path. He thrusted a long branch at her and something dangled above her head. Leia instinctively jumped back, crashing into Han. His arms shot up to hold her steady—then, she looked up and saw the tied up sprouts of needle blossom mocking her from above.

Leia pushed Han away and glowered at him and Janson in turns. She addressed the Rogue pilot first, adjusting her tone to a controlled, biting iciness.

‘If you or anyone else pull anything like that again, I'll be sure to make a recommendation for you to be reassigned to janitor duties. Understood, soldier?’

‘Aye, ma'am,’ Janson said, looking abashed, before hurrying away.

‘And  _ you _ ,’ Leia said, turning around to face Han and poking a sharp finger to his chest. I don’t care about any tradition; you try and get me to kiss you under those things again and I will kick your ass.’

There was something on Han’s face for a split second that Leia didn’t register; it was not an expression of contrition (she wasn’t sure Han was capable of such a thing), fright, dismay or embarrassment. It could be close to shock, amazement even, but there was something about his eyes…

It lasted only a moment, seemingly escaping Han’s control before he rearranged his features into his signature I-did-nothing-wrong-it-wasn’t-my-fault face.

‘I dunno what you’re talkin’ about, sweetheart, I was just tryin’ to be helpful here!’

Without another word, Leia turned on her heel to resume her walk to the mess hall.

‘So you comin’ tonight?’

His voice sounded like he’d started following her again but was choosing to remain a few paces behind.

‘I don’t think I will,’ Leia said, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

‘Why not?’

‘Because it sounds like an ambush and I’m not in the mood for games.’

‘I swear on the  _ Falcon _ , it’s not a trap. Luke’s comin’ too, you can come together.’

Leia considered that. If this was an actual celebration that was important to Chewbacca, she didn’t want to dismiss it. She liked Chewie, and she knew how much it hurt to observe traditions and holidays when you were far away from home. She could ask Luke about it, and if he was going, she would too.

‘I can and will beat you up, you understand that?’ Leia said, turning back to face him.

‘Oh, I know,’ Han said, and there was that look again.

She took a couple of steps backwards, levelling a serious, studious look at him as he stood in the middle of the hallway with his thumbs hooked in his belt.

Finally, she turned around and left. He didn’t follow her this time.

* * *

It was a relief to find out that, as insufferable as Han had been that morning, he hadn’t been lying about Life Day. What she hadn’t expected when she arrived with Luke to the makeshift landing the  _ Millennium Falcon _ was on, was the sight of several people milling around the freighter, chatting, with drinks in their hands. She had thought Han’s invitation was for a quiet dinner, just him, Chewie, Luke and Leia, but the closer they got, the closer this gathering resembled a party.

Luke looked just as confused. 

‘Did you know there was going to be this many people?’ she asked.

‘No, I thought it’d be just us, like usual!’

Leia spotted Chewie, towering above a knot of rebels, and made a beeline for him.

‘Hi, Chewie,’ she said, patting his elbow to catch his attention. With a friendly growl, he bent down to give her a hug. ‘Happy Life Day! I had no idea there was going to be a party and everything!’

‘There wasn’t.’

Han was walking down the ramp behind them, carrying a big bowl of hubba chips and a pitcher. He set them down on top of a crate, next to a container of spicy warra nuts, and approached Leia and Chewie.

‘These assholes eavesdropped me an’ Chewie talkin’ about the eggnog and invited themselves over,’ he said.

‘Eggnog?’ What’s that?’ Luke asked, joining them.

‘Eggs, milk, sugar, rum an’ spices,’ Han said. He grabbed the pitcher, which had already been emptied down to half, and poured two cups for Luke and Leia.

Leia looked at the creamy drink and took a sip. Evening was falling, and in the tundra region where this base was settled it meant the temperature had already dropped several degrees. The eggnog was smooth, tasty and warmed Leia from the inside.

‘Nice,’ Luke said enthusiastically.

‘Chewie, is it true you only celebrate Life Day every three years?’ Leia asked.

‘[Three years is what it takes for a wroshyr tree to give out their old roots to us. We eat them in a ceremony to help our spirit find their way back to the Tree of Life, from which all life on Kashyyyk began],’ Chewie explained, with Han making the necessary translations when Leia or Luke’s understanding of Shyriiwook failed.

‘So that’s what Life Day celebrates? The Tree of Life?’ Luke asked.

‘[It celebrates all of Kashyyyk’s lifeforms. We remember those who have died and honour the young who will carry on our legacy].’ There was a tinge of sadness in the last of Chewie’s growls. Han patted him on the back.

‘You’re supposed to go back to Kashyyyk to celebrate,’ he explained, ‘but I haven’t been able to take Chewie since the Empire tightened security on the planet. This is the second one we miss, right pal?’

Leia was about to ask what did he mean by “we”, but in that moment, someone yelled ‘Let me get Han’s sabacc cards!’

‘Wait a minute, don’t just go takin’ stuff from my ship!’ Han shouted back, and he was gone.

Luke laughed, and soon he left to join a group of his fellow Rogues, leaving Leia and Chewie alone.

‘You can tell me now,’ she said to the Wookiee. ‘That thing about kissing under needle blossom, Han made it up. Didn’t he?’

Chewie whined and looked away.

‘Please?’

A chuckle, then, baring his teeth at her.

‘[How can I say no to those cute little eyes of yours? You don’t give anyone a chance, Princess.]’ Leia laughed once her brain made sense of the Wookiee’s words. He spoke slowly for her benefit. ‘[It is a tradition, Han did not lie on this. But he asked me to tell you that I was the one who hung it over your space. It was not me.]’

Leia didn’t need to ask who it was.

Han came back with his sabacc set, more eggnog and the reminder that his ship was  _ not _ Rebel Alliance property and therefore anyone who wasn’t him or Chewie should keep their hands and feet off her if they liked their natural shape.

As the evening wore off, Leia found herself joining a couple of rounds of sabacc, then choosing to watch from the sidelines when the gambling started. Chewie shared more Life Day traditions—Leia rarely saw him being this talkative around so many people, especially when not half of them understood his language—and eventually, the rebels started sharing stories about similar holidays from their own homeworlds.

She was leaning against the hull of the  _ Falcon _ , watching pensievely at the gamblers, hugging herself to stop the chill from creeping in, when Han slid up next to her.

‘Cold, Princess?’ he asked.

‘A little. Did you lose?’

‘On purpose,’ he said, giving her a wink. ‘You weren’t payin’ much attention, I see.’

He took off his jacket and offered it to her. ‘Here. You can borrow it.’

Leia looked at it, a bit stunned. ‘Are you sure? Won't you be cold?’

Han waved her off. ‘Unless you don't want my rags, take it.’

She put it on, the sleeves falling past her hands. It smelled distinctly of Han. She couldn’t have described it, or picked apart the components of the Han Solo Scent, but she knew one thing for sure: it was kind of arousing.

‘Why would you lose on purpose?’ Leia asked, trying to force her cheeks into cooling off.

‘Well, tell you the truth, this is nice and all,’ he said, nodding at the gathering, ‘and looks like Chewie’s enjoyin’ himself, but it wasn’t really what we had in mind.’

Han cast a glance at the rebels, as if checking nobody was looking his way, and pointed quickly at the entrance of the ship.

‘C’mon,’ he told Leia.

Suspicion arose in her again. What was he inviting her alone into his ship for?

The puzzle of Han was one that could be as intriguing as it was frustrating. He would joke night and day about her secretly wanting to kiss him, would tease the living daylights out of her with bad innuendo, but he never acted on it, not even when it was just the two of them sharing a somewhat intimate moment and he could have tried, and, maybe, Leia wouldn’t have pulled away.

But she still didn’t know if she would kiss him back. If she should.

‘Come  _ on _ , I wanna show you something,’ Han insisted, frowning at her reticence. Shaking off her thoughts, Leia nodded and followed him up the ramp and into the main hold.

‘What was wrong with you, Your Worship? Didn’t think I wanted to take advantage of you, did you?’ he asked, throwing a smirk her way as he opened a chiller unit, but Leia didn’t miss a hint of worry in his expression.

‘Of course not,’ she said. ‘What is it?’

Han straightened up with a dish in his hands. ‘Dessert.’ He set it down on the Dejarik table and uncovered it with a flourish. ‘It’s zoochberry pie, Chewie made it. Didn’t make enough for the whole party down there, but… Thought we shouldn’t let it go to waste. I’ll sneak Luke in later for his piece.’

Leia hummed in appreciation as he cut and handed her a slice. The filling was a mixture of cream and zoochberries, which she’d never had before, with a touch of alcohol and a crumbly crust.

‘I haven’t had anything this delicious in a very long time,’ she said. 

Han grinned. 

‘Chewie’ll be glad to hear that. Here.’ He poured her a fresh glass of eggnog and one for himself. 

‘Cheers,’ he said, and they clinked glasses.

‘Have you celebrated Life Day on Kashyyyk with Chewie before, then?’ Leia asked.

‘Yeah. Twice since I’ve met him.’ Han smiled slightly, a faraway look on his face as if conjuring up old memories. ‘You should see it, it’s a whole thing. Pretty impressive. Humans don’t give a shit about Wookiees unless they can use them to fight or haul things, but their culture is no joke. Very spiritual beings.’

‘Did you meet his family?’

He nodded. ‘Malla an’ Lumpy. Hope they’re okay,’ he added with a heavy sigh.

It was rare to see Han this open. He hated people thinking of him as caring or, worse, vulnerable. But Leia knew he did care. She just hated that he went to such great lengths to hide it. She knew that, sometimes, hiding that you cared could have the same effect as not caring at all.

Glancing at her chrono, she was startled to see how late it was.

‘I think I better turn in,’ she said softly, regretting to break the moment.

‘Sure.’ His face lit up in mischief as he spotted something above Leia’s head. ‘Look, Princess. Needle blossom.’

Before Leia could move away, Han made a series of growling sounds, waving his hands around her.

‘There. Said a Wookiee prayer for ya, now you’re protected from bad luck.’

Leia laughed and he smiled back at her.

‘Oh, wait,’ she said, remembering the jacket she was still wearing, but Han shook his head, placing a hand on her arm to stop her.

‘Give it back tomorrow, it’ll be cold to your quarters.’

It would, but his hand was warm, and soft, and pulling her to him without physically doing so…

‘Night, Leia,’ Han said, taking his hand back.

As she made her way out of the  _ Falcon _ , Leia knew she wouldn’t have pulled away. And maybe that mistake wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	9. IX. Star fritters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They be cooking together and getting to know each other more... but they still don't have a clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re back with more Hungry Hearts!! I was excited to write this just because the food this chapter is focused on was inspired by a traditional dish from my country (and other parts of LatAm): [pastelitos](http://catamarcaviva.com.ar/prueba/wp-content/uploads/pastelitos-696x391.jpg)! Since it’s popularly agreed upon that Alderaan is Latinamerican-coded, I thought it would be a nice way to have Leia finally bringing something to the table—literally. Pastelitos are filled with quince cheese, but since I don’t like that name and in Spanish it’s membrillo, I decided to call it membrill cheese (although, much like Han, I’m like “wtf, this ain’t cheese”).

Supply runs for the Alliance didn’t require a formal debriefing unless things had gone unexpectedly (which often meant  _ really badly _ ). Apart from accounting for the required goods, however, the mission’s captain was required to attend a reunion with the person at the head of the operation. The purpose of these conversations was mostly to assess the continued viability of their route, their supply source, and any difficulties that might have arisen.

One of Leia’s many assets to the rebellion was her catalogue of connections, of allies or possible collaborators, through the galaxy, what they had to offer, and the ways in which they could be persuaded to offer it. This regularly put her in charge of coming up with and planning said supply runs, and given his undeniable skills as a smuggler, Han had become her most demanded executor.

It was because of this alignment of their respective aptitudes that they often found themselves sitting at opposite sides of a desk in the tiny cubicle she used for an office whenever she wasn’t covering a workstation in the command center, holed up in High Command meetings or off-planet.

‘Don't see why we can’t do this over some whiskey back at the  _ Falcon _ , Your Worship,’ Han usually joked, or variations of it.

This time he was serious, although he wished he’d brought the whiskey. Their supply providers had come from Espirion: after the battle of Yavin IV, Leia had established an alliance with the planet’s population of Alder-Espirions as part of her efforts to reunite all of Alderaan’s survivors. When her fleet had come under attack from a Star Destroyer in orbit of the planet, Espirion had sent one of their own ships and helped bring down the Impstar. Things had become somewhat dire for Espirion after that, and Han knew that still weighed heavy on Leia. Still, the Empire’s tightening hold on their planet had brought even more allies to the rebels’ cause, some of whom had recently met Han in a distant space station to hand over their contributions.

‘I wish Beon had come with us,’ Leia said with a tired sigh, pressing two fingers to her brow as she thought of the Alder-Espirion chief who had chosen to remain hidden planetside.

‘I dunno about that, Princess. Seems he’s more useful to you there,’ Han reasoned, but Leia waved a hand vaguely.

‘Well, yes, but I don’t want him to get caught. Besides, he’s a good leader; we could use him here.’

Han didn’t say anything to that. Leia wanted what Leia wanted, and it was pointless for him to try and argue with her that other people might have their reasons, too.

‘You okay?’ he asked, as she had an intense, pensive look and her fingers were still digging into her forehead as if to push away a headache. At his words, Leia straightened up, her worries apparently gone.

‘Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been kind of a four-cups-of-coffee-before-9-am kind of day.’

‘Thought that was your regular breakfast order,’ Han teased, drawing a chuckle out of her.

‘You’re free to go, we’re done here,’ she said, scrolling down her datapad and scrawling her signature at the bottom.

Han held up a finger. ‘Just a minute. I have something for you that might improve your day… I think. If you like it.’

Frowning slightly with curiosity, Leia watched as Han removed something from an inside pocket of his jacket. He deposited the square of bright red, thick jelly wrapped in transparent flimsiplast in front of her on the desk.

‘Plenty more where this came from,’ he said with a tilt of his chin. ‘Wasn’t in the list you gave me. Our friends sent it as an extra gift, saying you and the other Alderaanians were gonna enjoy it. You know what it is?’

Leia didn’t answer immediately: her eyes had gone round at the sight, her mouth gaping a little in surprise, and then her expression morphed into one that seemed both joyful and heartbroken—nostalgia, Han realized.

‘Yes,’ she said, clearing her throat a little. ‘That’s membrill cheese.’

Han narrowed his eyes at the confection. ‘This ain’t no cheese.’

‘It’s not. It’s a sweet paste, made of the pulp of the membrill fruit.’ Hesitantly, Leia reached out and touched the package with delicate fingers, as if she was afraid it’d break or vanish at the contact. ‘The tree it comes from grew on Alderaan, but it was spread to other planets, whenever our people settled.’

‘Like on Espirion,’ Han said.

‘Right. We use it to prepare a lot of desserts and snacks, you see—we even eat it just with a slice of actual milk cheese.’

‘Yeah? You like it, then?’

‘I really do.’ She lifted her eyes from the membrill to give him the kind of look she got whenever she had an idea. ‘You’ve never had it before, have you?’

Han shook his head and Leia beamed.

‘Then try it! Wait—I don’t have a knife here…’

‘That’s okay, Princess, this is for you. You don’t have to share it, you know.’

Leia crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back on her chair. 

‘This isn’t like the coodler-roe,’ she said, referring to the revolting dish she’d dared him to eat about two years earlier. ‘You can trust me.’

He did; he just didn’t want her to have to give up even a small part of something she clearly enjoyed and had missed. It seemed that what Leia wanted was for him to try this alleged delicacy from her home planet, though.

Drawing the membrill to him, he pulled apart the wrapping and pinched a corner of the pasty block, which he then ate.

‘So?’ Leia asked eagerly as he licked her fingers. It was good but a little too sugary for Han’s taste, and he told her so. ‘I suppose that’s fair. Oh, but you should try them on star fritters!’

‘What’re those?’ he asked.

‘They’re fried pastries, and they only have a small bite of membrill at the center, so the sweetness is balanced out.’ Her eyes were almost glazed over with craving. ‘They’re wonderful.’

‘Well, do you know how to make ‘em?’ Han prompted, an idea forming in his mind.

‘I do.’

Han raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you know how to make ‘em  _ edible _ ?’

Leia glared at him. ‘I also know how to poison food so that nobody will ever know how you died.’

‘Alright then—think I’ve fed you enough for free over the years, you could pay me back by making those star fritters you like so much and sharin’ ‘em,’ Han said, poking a finger into the square of membrill, forgetting that it was unwrapped, and subsequently licking the paste off his index finger.

Leia bit her lip, considering his proposal. The idea seemed to have taken her by surprise, as well as too enticing to say no to, since she had neglected to conceal the way her eyes had followed his membrill-smeared finger into his mouth.

‘I… maybe I could use the mess’s kitchen after-hours.’ She grabbed her datapad again. ‘I’ll check my schedule and see if… Anyway, I’ll just make a few samples and bring them over to the  _ Falcon _ so Chewie and Luke can try them too—’

‘Nuh-huh,’ Han said, wagging a finger at her. ‘Whaddya mean,  _ you’ll _ make ‘em? You’re teaching me! You can’t say no, Princess, I reckon you’ll enjoy bossin’ me around.’

‘That I will,’ Leia agreed with a smirk.

Han didn’t care one way or another if he never ate a star fritter, except that Leia liked them and they came from her homeworld, so it was like getting to know another little part of her past life—a part that she was actually willing to share with him. She’d looked so eager, so youthful as she talked about it, the hardships of war seemingly put aside for a few minutes, that what he was really going for with his plan was to get her to feel like that again, distract her from Espirion, from the whole fucking war, even for two hours.

And maybe he was looking forward to spending some time alone with her, too.

* * *

A couple of days went by before Leia got back to him about their cooking plans, so much so that Han was beginning to think she had either forgotten or was acting like it.

‘Some of us are busy leading a revolution, you know,’ she told him wryly, arms akimbo as she watched him push a repulsor cart loaded with packs of membrill cheese into the mess hall’s kitchen. He’d kept those hidden from the person in charge of overseeing the supplies brought from Espirion as they were unloaded, since the membrill hadn’t been requested and he’d yet have to confirm with Leia that they were safe, edible goods. Afterwards, he had figured he would hold on to them for a little longer, until their off-the-books meeting (or else, until Leia asked).

‘I think you were just afraid your cookin’ skills will never live up to mine,’ Han drawled, parking the cart and sitting on a counter.

‘First off, get your butt off the place we prepare food on,’ Leia said, raising an eyebrow at him. ‘Second, does  _ everything _ have to be a competition with you?’

‘Not  _ everything _ , but—’

‘Good, because my fritters will knock everything you’ve ever made out of the park.’

‘Ha! Alright, let’s see it.’

Leia pointed at several piles of pale squares separated by layers of flimsi that she’d laid on the table.

‘We’re actually going to use the pre-made puff pastry dough that we use for pies because I… um, I actually don’t know how to make puff pastry. I remember the ingredients, but not the exact quantities. And you also need to do some tricky folding with butter, and you have to let it rest,’ she explained.

Puff pastry pies were a rare treat in rebel bases. Synthefood and dehydrated rations were the norm: easier to obtain, store and prepare than natural foodstuffs, and often lacking in terms of flavour unless you got creative with them—which many of the Alliance’s untrained cooks were not.

‘I was under the impression we’d be doin’ the whole thing?’ Han quipped. ‘You know that takes some of the credit off your cookin’ skills, Your Worship, don’t you?’

‘Oh, shut up and come here.’ She re-opened the pack of membrill Han had brought into her office and grabbed a knife. He noticed half of the square was missing and felt oddly pleased at knowing she’d at least enjoyed some herself. ‘First we need to cut this up into small squares, but not  _ too _ small. Let’s just do this one to start with, all right?’

Once that was ready, she grabbed one of the squares of dough and laid it in front of her.

‘Now we take a piece of membrill, put it in the middle. We get some water in there,’ she said, dipping her index finger in a glass she’d set on the side and drawing a circle around the membrill square before grabbing another piece of dough. ‘We cover it like this, with the corners matching.’

She wetted the area over the covered sweet again, pressing lightly on the dough to seal it, and picked up the confection.

‘And now we just pinch under it like this and fold the corners out a little. See?’ Leia held it out for Han, who thought it looked more like a flower than a star.

‘Okay, I think I got it,’ Han said, nodding and rolling up his sleeves. He stood next to Leia and she watched as he repeated what he’d seen her do.

‘That looks good. Pinch it a little more—that’s right.’ She gave him a satisfied grin and then looked away, lost in thought for a moment. ‘I know I said we were just going to make a couple of them but—since there’s a lot of membrill and there’s a good stock of frozen dough… What if we made enough fritters for everyone, for breakfast tomorrow? I think the cooks will appreciate it. That is, if you want to. We’d have to be here a while, and we’d be doing a good deed, which I know you hate...’

‘Cute,’ Han said, although part of him appreciated her quick thinking in teasing him—when she wasn’t trying to hurt him. ‘Fine, let’s do this.’

He began to hand her over the packs of membrill, which Leia methodically unwrapped and set side by side on the counter—actually a long plank of durasteel set over trestle legs, identical to the ones spread out in dozens of rows in the hall outside. When the cart was empty, he grabbed a knife and they worked side by side cutting smaller squares of membrill.

‘So how come you know how to do this, Princess?’ Han asked as they worked. ‘Don’t imagine you were ever required to make dessert back home—or was it part of your royal training?’

He knew he was treading dangerous ground here: Leia could be as cagey about her past as he was. But sometimes, she’d open up a little, offer some kernels of her life before the day they’d met. In return, Han often found himself reciprocating—not with stuff that offered much about the less savory aspects of his life, though. 

It wasn’t so much that he needed to know about her past. Nobody could understand better than Han that some things were best left behind, that his present self was the only thing he cared to show to the world. He was fine just getting to know this Leia, the one he shot Imps next to. He asked questions because then she’d talk to him about something other than her rebellion. And yes, maybe he’d learn something about her in the process.

Leia shrugged. ‘They were my favorites and I wanted to know how they were made, so one day when I was about six or seven, I snuck into the palace’s kitchens and asked one of the cooks to teach me. Memily was afraid she’d get in trouble if she put the crown princess to cook, so she told me we had to ask for my mother’s permission. I think I didn’t take that suggestion very kindly,’ she said, scrunching up her nose in embarrassment.

‘What did you do?’ Han asked, his knife still as he looked at Leia with interest.

‘Oh, nothing too bad, but… yeah, I think I said that I was the princess and she had to do as I said. I loved Memily, though. She just talked to me and convinced me to go to my mom and ask. She was very entertained by the idea, my mom,’ Leia said with a small, wistful smile. ‘She came down with us so that Memily could teach her, too. I was allowed to hang around the kitchens afterwards, if I wanted, as long as I behaved and didn’t get in anyone’s way.’

Han grinned, thinking of a tiny girl with pigtail braids trying to order around a bunch of poor cooks and learning how to make pastries next to her mother (whom he pictured in full queenly regalia).

‘So did you pick any other cookin’ skills from your stint as kitchen assistant?’

‘No,’ Leia said, laughing. ‘I’d moved on to something else a few weeks later. I did attempt to cook when I started going to Coruscant as my dad’s apprentice but—let’s say he claimed to have allergies I know he didn’t have, and I gave up after that.’

‘That bad, huh?’

‘Yeah… And I knew it was almost inedible, I just refused to give up.’

That didn’t surprise Han.

‘I think we’re done here,’ he said, looking down at all the cut-up membrill.

‘Okay, let’s clear up some space here—and here we go,’ Leia told him, moving a pile of dough squares next to him and setting the glass of water between the two of them.

They began to assemble the pastries, working in silence for a while.

‘Maybe I should take a commission here in the kitchen, teach ‘em what “flavor” means, whaddaya think?’

Leia chuckled softly but didn’t look up. He could see her biting her lip slightly and wondered what she was thinking about. Had he said something wrong?

‘Maybe you should,’ she said casually. ‘So when did  _ you _ learn so much about cooking?’

‘Long time ago,’ Han said. ‘Picked up some from Chewie an’ his family.’

‘Oh.’

He could do this. He could give her something.

‘But mostly, I learned from Dewlanna,’ Han told her. It was less painful now, talking about her. ‘She was a Wookiee, too, an’ a great cook. She lived in the ship I grew up in, ya know. Looked out for me.’

‘Sounds like she was really special,’ Leia commented, touching his arm briefly.

‘Yeah.’

Leia didn’t ask what had happened with her, and Han was grateful for it. She got it. She understood this implicit agreement between them of not pushing, of accepting what was being given—at least as far as sharing personal information went.

‘She made a mean wastril bread,’ he said, smiling fondly at the memory, ‘an’ whenever I came in and watch her cook, she’d put me to do somethin’, said everyone should know how to feed themselves.’

‘Smart,’ Leia said with a dry chuckle. ‘My strategy is to just stick around people who can feed me.’

‘Don’t worry, sweetheart, as long as I’m here I won’t let you starve,’ Han said, without thinking much about his words. He expected to hear her laugh or make a comment, but Leia only said ‘Right,’ and kept working in silence.

After some time, she asked, ‘Would you start frying the ones we have while I finish the rest? You know how to fry, right?’

‘Sure, yeah. Do you?’

‘I... have fried,’ Leia said, looking away, her mouth twitching.

‘Oh no. What happened?’

‘A lot of splattering, and food that was still uncooked inside.’

Han shook his head.

‘Rich people.’

‘Hey!’

He winked at her and walked to the lined-up freezer units. ‘Fat, right?’

At Leia’s confirmation, he picked up a pack, took it to a deep pan and began his task. He fried pastry after pastry until they were golden brown, and placed them on trays lined with disposable towels.

In between batches, when the first ones he’d done had cooled off, Han said, ‘Alright, let’s try this.’

Leia looked up and watched him.

‘I hope you’ll like it.’

Han picked up a second fritter and held it out for her. ‘You too, Princess. Go on, you’ve earned it.’

The star fritter was as crispy as it looked, and Leia had been right: the sweetness of its heart was balanced out with the crust.

‘Well?’ Leia asked eagerly; he saw now that she had still not taken a bite out of her fritter.

‘Hats off, Your Royalness,’ he told her, raising his half-eaten pastry to her in salute. ‘They’re really good.’

‘Told you,’ Leia said, but she grinned before she started to eat. There it was, the nostalgic look again, as she savored her star fritter slowly, closing her eyes for a moment before staring off into the distant past of a Leia who wasn’t allowed to cook and didn’t need to, who was loved by parents that spent time with her, who thought that, no matter what, she’d always have her home to come back to, a plate of star fritters waiting for her. 

Han was physically attracted to her, of course, but he was also drawn to the way they worked together, her quick wit, the fact that she didn’t back down from anything. Hells, even her shooting turned him on. And yet it wasn’t just that. He felt something for her he’d sworn he’d never feel again; mushy, idiotic feelings that he had no idea where they were coming from. He wanted to get her on his ship and fly her away from everything, have her making him try food from every corner of the galaxy while she watched closely for his reaction.

_ No, fuck this. I just want to sleep with her! _ he thought viciously.

‘Think we’ve done enough work today, Princess. When do we get to play?’ he asked, leaning in close, ignoring how lame his words sounded to his own ears as he tried to push those pathetic thoughts away.

Unsurprisingly so, Leia took a step back, her face darkening with confusion.

‘We still have some work left to do, Captain,’ she said firmly, then pointed at the still boiling pan. ‘That fat is going to overheat.’

‘Didn’t I do enough?’ Han asked, his voice rising in exasperation. He was met with a scowl.

‘Then go!  _ I _ still have work to do here!’

This wasn’t what he wanted. How had they even gotten there?! But that was the truth, wasn’t it? She had work to do and it didn’t matter if he stayed or left. It never had. She “appreciated it” if he stayed, but only as long as he behaved and didn’t get in her way.

He turned on his heel and started walking away, waiting for her to call him back, to say that she wanted him to stay.

She never did, so he walked faster, because it was easier than staying and keep burning himself trying to do something he wasn’t meant to do.


	10. X. Sahbiye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely not a romantic getaway (I'm serious).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (belated) May the Fourth! This chapter is set right before the start of the Annual #3 comic. For those unfamiliar with it, Han and Leia are scouting a potential base but they get lost in a cave with "angry teeth beasts" and then bounty hunters show up. This isn't meant to be canon-compliant, I just liked the setting. The dish comes from the EU book “Honour among thieves”, which I've wanted to use almost since the beginning of the series for reasons. It also turned into a bit of an homage to Peter Mayhew and our beloved Chewie. We’re getting closer to ESB so things are turning undefinably weird between Han and Leia!

‘So this,’ Leia said, opening her arms to encompass the desolate landscape before them, ‘is your brilliant secret lair?’

‘It’s not “my lair”?’ Han grunted, coming down from the  _ Millennium Falcon _ ’s ramp behind her. ‘Welcome to Odona, Princess.’

Leia threw him a wary look before stepping down into the dusty land and examining their surroundings. Here and there, crumbling stone structures rose from the ground, looking even older than the Massassi temples on Yavin IV. Massive pillars and half-standing statues guarded the dark mouths of the caves Han had pointed out as one of the key features that made Odona the ideal planet for a new military base.

It hadn't been easy to relocate after Yavin. Dantooine had been the Alliance’s first headquarters, and they had lasted a whole two years there. On Yavin IV, it had been a year and a couple of months. Afterwards, they had split and moved between their other, smaller bases, but this arrangement kept their forces too scattered across the galaxy to launch any major attacks. Leia had hoped that destroying the Death Star had been an opening, a victory important enough to let them strike at a weakened Empire until it fell—but while they’d had a few more wins, they seemed to never make much of a dent. She hoped that would change if they could find a base large and isolated enough to safely concentrate a large number of troops.

Han had mentioned that one of Odona’s polar continents was an abandoned rock with a maze of caves favored by pirates and smugglers to escape Imperial detection, and that it was big enough to establish a new base. The only problem, he’d said, was its extreme weather.

Leia and the rest of High Command had decided it was worth checking out, and that it would be more practical if it was just a small team going in and out quietly. If it was risky, it would be easier to get out. The idea had been to have a commander accompany Han and Chewbacca to Odona. Han had insisted he wouldn’t take any other rebels on his ship but Luke or Leia—and Luke had been away on a different recon mission. When she walked into the  _ Falcon _ , Leia passed Chewie on his way out. For some reason, the Wookiee was not going with them.

‘The weather is nice,’ Leia commented. The pale blue sky was mostly clear but for wispy clouds, and the morning breeze was pleasant. Nothing seemed to hint at a treacherous climate.

‘Yeah, for now,’ Han warned. ‘You got layers?’

Leia assented; he had insisted on the vitality of wearing layered clothes and carrying warm coats besides.

‘Let's go,’ Han said, and closed down the  _ Falcon _ before they set out towards the nearest cave, rucksacks on their backs.

They did the trek in silence. Things had been strained lately, more so than usual. Generally, she and Han had a disagreement that became a loud blowout, they spent a few days avoiding each other, then she’d go and ask him to run a mission or he’d invite her and Luke to his ship after dinner and things would go back to normal. For some time, they hadn’t even fought, only bickered, which often turned into friendly banter. Han made her laugh—genuinely laugh—and, surprisingly, he could keep his mouth shut when she just wanted to share a drink with someone and not talk about anything—although they often ended up talking anyway. He was also one of the best partners she’d ever had in the field.

Something had shifted recently, though, and she couldn’t put her finger on what or when it had happened. It was closer to the way they were in the beginning, except back then, she hadn’t cared much whether he stayed or left for good. Now, there was a tension between them while they fought, as if there was something fragile on the line, ready to come crashing down at the slightest wrong maneuver.

The last time they fought, Leia was so angry afterwards. They had been cooking together, talking—she was sure he’d even shared something very private with her—and suddenly he was getting up in her space, acting like he was trying to pick someone up in a bar. When she had pulled back from whatever the hell he had in mind, he’d walked away from her and left her with half a dozen star fritters to finish and a kitchen to clean.

‘Are you sure these structures won’t fall down over our heads the minute we step in?’ she asked as they stood on the threshold of the cave, dark and jagged like the maw of a waiting beast.

‘If they ain’t fallen down in a snow storm, they won’t fall down now,’ Han said, surveying the antechamber-like space that narrowed down into a tunnel. He took his blaster from its holder and turned on his flashlight, then motioned for her to follow. ‘C’mon, get yours.’

Alarmed, Leia drew her blaster and asked, ‘Already?’

‘Just in case we need to clear this out.’

‘I was under the impression there were no living beings in this continent.’

‘Well, you know what happens when you assume things,’ Han said in a tone too flippant to be genuine. Without waiting for her, he crossed the chamber and stepped into the tunnel. 

Leia hurried to follow, annoyed. 

‘So just to be clear, what kind of beings can we expect to run into?’

‘Hopefully none.’

‘Will you cut out the crap?’ she snapped with an angry huff, tugging at the collar of her shirt. It was no wonder she’d started to feel hot: besides the flush her irritation at Han induced, she was wearing a jacket, a long-sleeved shirt and a tank top underneath.

Han stopped and turned to give her a tired look.

‘Look, Princess, we can stand here fightin’ about what hypothetical creatures might live here or we can get on with the recon and worry about them when we have to.  _ If _ we have to,’ he added.

‘You should know by now that the way we operate is, we lay down  _ all _ the intel we have on a planet before we get there,’ Leia retorted, glaring at him.

‘I don't have any intel!’ Han raised his arms in exasperation. ‘It's just stupid rumours!’

He glared back, his jaw tight, and then he breathed out forcefully.

‘It’s been years since anyone’s seen them—no one I talked to was sure they even exist. If you gotta know, some folks talk about big blobs covered in eyes and teeth lurkin’ in these caves. Never met ‘em myself. See why I didn't think to mention ‘em? They're probably a myth, no more’n that.’

It was hard to decide whether she was relieved by Han’s assessment that the creatures were likely to be a fantasy, or worried by their description in case they were real, but at least he was being honest.

‘Let’s move,’ she said, with a nod, and began to walk.

The deeper they went into the cave, the hotter it felt. If Leia didn’t know better, she would have believed they were walking straight into the planet’s core.

‘Are there… thermal pools nearby or something?’ she asked, taking off her jacket. Han did the same.

‘No, this ball’s just starting to heat up.’

Less than twenty minutes later, the cave felt like a furnace. 

‘Kriff,’ Han said, wiping off his sweaty brow with the back of his wrist. He stopped and took off his vest, then pulled his shirt over his head and stuffed both of them inside his rucksack. ‘You’ll wanna lose some layers.’

Silently, Leia thanked the heat for justifying her blush. After stripping off, Han was left wearing a plain white vest that clung to his skin in all the right places. She’d seen him wearing less, but that didn’t mean she underrated the image in front of her. And just like she was watching him, wouldn’t he watch her if she took off her shirt? Leia wasn’t vain, but she wasn’t oblivious to her features, either.

‘I’m fine,’ she said, and kept moving forward, pointing her flashlight at crevices she feigned interest in.

It was far from fine. Her clothes stuck to her armpits, her back and belly, and she felt as if even her hair was starting to sweat. They were rationing their water: she couldn’t afford to dehydrate just for the sake of her… modesty or whatever ridiculous nonsense was keeping her fully clothed.

Slowing down discreetly to fall behind Han, she dumped her rucksack to the ground and stripped off her shirt, tying it around her waist. It was inevitable that Han turned to check on her when he noticed she was lagging behind, but Leia looked straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge his expression.

The cave seemed all right... at first. Her instruments didn't register radiation or poisoning elements. If Han was right about them being frequently beaten up by storms, then he also had to be right in thinking they were solid enough to not crumble down on them. It seemed that the weather (or perhaps something else) did take its toll on them, however: here are there they began to find sections where the roof had caved in and huge rocks blocked the passages, forcing them to take a different route. 

Leia was growing concerned. The cave was more labyrinthine than either of them had prepared for. Han kept insisting that he would not get them lost, and she wanted to believe him, but they’d had to stray off the main tunnel and had taken so many twists and turns, she couldn’t be sure she’d know which way they had come. She’d taken out her handheld navcomp, but it was having trouble reading the complex terrain. On top of it, the heat was almost suffocating. It was getting on both their nerves.

‘It gotta be that way,’ Han said.

‘Why? Because that rock seems more promising than this one?’ Leia snapped as they stood at a crossroads.

‘Because we don’t know which one to take so we might as well go that way and see!’

‘So if I say let’s take this tunnel instead, you’ll follow?’ she asked, raising her eyebrows.

‘No, ‘cos you’re just bein’ difficult.’

‘Oh, really? I’m being difficult just for suggesting a different route than the one you pulled out of your ass? How manly of you.’

‘I'm just sayin’ that's not what you want!’ he said, refuting her accusation with a raised finger.

‘What do you know about what I really want, Han?’ she spat out. She knew she was blowing things out of proportion, but she was tired of the encompassing darkness of the cave, of its confusing bowels, of the perspiration that covered her head to toes, and she was tired of letting Han lead this dance around each other.

‘Guess I don’t have a kriffin’ clue!’ Han groaned in frustration and turned around. The tired sigh that followed seemed to discharge him of his anger, and when he spoke, it was in a measured tone. ‘Alright, why don’t we stop for a bit? Let’s take a breather and have a bite, and then we’ll discuss which way to go.’

She resented that his alternative to taking her route was basically to let her cool off so that they could go the way he wanted. She wanted to keep yelling at him even if she wasn't very clear on what exactly to yell at him about. The diplomat in her reasoned that she couldn't know that was his plan, and that he was proposing a truce, so she should meet him halfway.

Taking a deep breath, she slid her rucksack off her shoulders and sat down without a word.

‘You said you’d pack lunch for both of us,’ she said dryly. ‘I hope you remembered, or else—Force help you.’

Han snorted. ‘Some faith you have in me, Your Worshipfulness.’

He sat down on the ground next to her, their bare arms brushing. Leia bit down on her lower lip to keep a shiver at bay while Han took out a portable cooler out of his bag, and retrieved a smaller container.

‘Sahbiye,’ he told her, pointing at a mix of soft green leaves and meat bathed in a golden sauce. ‘Chewie made it. Haven’t been cookin’ much myself ‘cos the thermpad’s been actin’ up more’n usual and it drives me crazy, but he said he’d make this for us—uh, well, actually for  _ you _ .’

‘For me?’

‘You hadn’t tried his sahbiye yet, he said. He doesn’t make it very often. He must like you, Princess.’

‘That’s very kind of him,’ Leia said, taking the fork he offered her. She speared a piece of meat and scooped up some greens, and took a bite. The flavours were rich and comforting, making her tension ease up a little.

‘That’s Chewie. Can’t shake ‘im off once he’s decided to look after you,’ Han told her. ‘Even though you weren’t very kind to him, in the beginning,’ he added. 

Leia frowned in confusion. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘You called him a walking carpet. When we were tryin’ to get outta the Death Star.’ Han looked at her. ‘You don’t remember?’

She shook her head, then raised an eyebrow at him. ‘I was a bit too preoccupied with other things at the time as to remember everything I said to anyone.’ Leia looked away for a moment. ‘It wasn’t anything personal. I didn’t expect to get out of there alive, and when the possibility seemed real, I wanted to get back to the Rebellion at any cost, because maybe—maybe I could help them when I—’

_ When I couldn’t help Alderaan _ , she thought, but she couldn’t say it out loud. She looked at him again. ‘So I’m sorry if I was a bit—’

‘Pain in the ass?’ Han asked through a mouthful of sahbiye. 

She made a face that meant “don’t push it”, but nodded. They’d never talked about it, about what had happened in the Death Star (except for Ben Kenobi’s mysterious, sudden death) and about those less than ideal first impressions. The day had seemed a blur to her afterwards, an overwhelming, deafening whirlwind of experiences, most of which she wanted to forget.

‘Even if I don’t remember what I said, I am sorry to have treated him badly. There’s no excuse,’ she said. 

Han shook his head. ‘Not me you have to apologise to. Chewie’s probably forgotten, anyway.’

‘Maybe, but I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. He’s a good fighter… and a better friend.’

‘And a great cook,’ Han added.

‘I wholeheartedly agree.’

A chilly breeze swept through the cave, and she put her fork down to rub her arms. ‘Is it cooling down or am I imagining it?’

‘Weather's turnin’ fast. That's how it is around here.’ Han put on his shirt again and set his jacket and parka out next to him in preparation. 

Leia looked at him in disbelief, but she too re-dressed herself as the gust of cool wind on her damp skin had given her goosebumps.

‘We should get outta here in case there’s a snowstorm,’ Han suggested, standing up and packing their things.

The crossroads still lay before them, two different paths to choose from, each with their own undiscovered possibilities. 

‘So, which way?’ Leia asked, turning to look up at Han.

‘Back the way we came,’ Han said gruffly. ‘Can’t be worse than anything else.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I need to lighten up the tension and I will. I hope.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed it, please leave kudos or a comment, they genuinely make my day!


End file.
